Fair Pay: Talking Money Together
By Andrew Jones
Money can be the most loaded subject in business - even more so when you’re working with someone you love. Whether you’re co-founding with your partner, teaming up with a sibling, or launching with a best friend, conversations about pay, equity, and reward can quickly get awkward. But facing them early, and honestly, can save your business and your relationship.
Here’s how to get it right.
A Personal Story: The Value Beneath the Surface
When we were in initial chats to merge our business with another, our soon-to-be business partner and I sat down to talk salaries. He suggested I should have the same salary as him, and that Sian might take less. To him, it made sense; he saw me as the “face” of our business, just as he was in his.
But what he didn’t see and what Sian quickly pointed out; was that much of our real value didn’t come from what people saw. The real magic was happening beneath the surface: the marketing, the strategising, the team development, and making sure everything worked behind the scenes. We delivered different outputs, but our value was equal.
Sian knew her worth and she fought for it. She challenged the assumption that visibility equals value and pushed for a structure that was fair for both of us—not just what looked fair from the outside. That conversation set the tone for our partnership and protected the trust between us.
Lesson: It’s not just about what’s visible, but about understanding—and speaking up for—the value you bring, even if it isn’t always seen.
Why Money Conversations Matter
When you work closely with someone you care about, business is never just business. Resentments about money can fester quietly until they become deal-breakers. Unspoken assumptions, vague promises, or lopsided rewards are the fastest route to conflict, burnout, or even breakups.
But handled well, clear money conversations are rocket fuel. They build trust, keep things fair, and allow your business (and relationship) to thrive.
Tips for Fair Play & Pay as a Team…
1. Start With the End in Mind
Don’t wait until things feel “big enough” to talk money. The best time for a real conversation is before you even start. The second-best time is now.
Ask:
What does success look like for both of us?
What will feel fair in a year if things take off or if they flop?
How would we handle paying ourselves in a lean month?
2. Get Specific About Roles and Rewards
Vagueness breeds conflict. Outline who is responsible for what, and what each role is “worth.” Are you splitting 50/50, or does someone bring in extra skills, assets, or cash that need to be recognised? It’s not about “hours worked,” but value created.
Try: Writing job descriptions for yourselves, even if it feels silly. It helps clarify expectations and prevents hidden resentments.
3. Don’t Let Guilt Drive Your Decisions
Guilt can make us overcompensate - paying someone too much, not asking for what we’re worth, or being afraid to challenge inequity.
Remember: Fair doesn’t always mean equal, and your relationship deserves honesty.
4. Review, Don’t Set-and-Forget
Circumstances change. Schedule regular “money check-ins”. We suggest quarterly or half yearly, but some prefer annually - just don’t leave it longer. This is where you both review roles, pay, and satisfaction. Use these meetings to ask: Is this still fair?
5. Write It Down
Handshake deals work… until they don’t. Even if you trust each other with your lives, document your agreements in a simple partnership agreement. This isn’t about mistrust; it’s about clarity and peace of mind for both parties.
Invest: Spend the money on a lawyer to draft this for you. It’s a lesson you won’t want to learn later.
6. Normalise the Money Talk
Make financial conversations a regular, safe part of your business life. Create rituals - coffee catch-ups, Friday check-ins, or a walk-and-talk. The more you normalise it, the less stressful it becomes.
Don’t: Leave all the financial knowledge or access with one person. Being engaged in your finances reduces anxiety and prevents one person shouldering all the load.
7. Bring In a Third Voice (If Needed)
Sometimes, bringing in an external advisor, coach, or accountant helps. They can offer perspective, spot blind spots, and make the conversation less personal. Here at The Co-Founder Couple we can be your advisor or coach, to help you have these conversations in a trusted environment.